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Home / The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck Pleasure

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck Pleasure

The Volume in Three Sentences

Finding something important and meaningful in your life is the most productive utilise of your time and energy. This is true considering every life has problems associated with it and finding meaning in your life will help you lot sustain the endeavor needed to overcome the item bug you face. Thus, we can say that the primal to living a good life is not giving a fuck well-nigh more things, only rather, giving a fuck only about the things that marshal with your personal values.

The Subtle Art of Non Giving a F*ck summary

This is my book summary of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. My notes are informal and often contain quotes from the book equally well every bit my own thoughts. This summary as well includes key lessons and important passages from the book.

  • Conventional self-help communication which tells y'all to visualize success and think about the type of person yous desire to be only reinforces the idea that you are non that thing.
  • Anybody wants y'all to believe that the cloak-and-dagger to a good life is to take a nicer job or a meliorate car or a prettier girlfriend.
  • The key to a good life is not giving a fuck almost more; it'due south giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.
  • We are no longer facing a material crisis. We have plenty of resources: TVs and clothes and appurtenances that we don't need. The trouble we face is existential and spiritual. We have and then much stuff and so many opportunities that nosotros don't know what to give a fuck about anymore.
  • Because there's an infinite amount of things we tin can now come across or know, at that place are too an infinite number of means we can detect that we don't measure up, that nosotros're not good plenty, that things aren't as bully as they could be.
  • The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience.
  • Pursuing something simply reinforces that you lack information technology in the get-go identify.
  • Accepting your feel of life every bit being groovy and wonderful is the single greatest matter you tin can exercise for your happiness.
  • "Yous will never be happy if yous continue to search for what happiness consists of. You volition never alive if y'all are looking for the significant of life." -Albert Camus
  • Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative feel.
  • If y'all are able to non give a fuck about the pain your goals require, and then you become unstoppable.
  • The moments when nosotros don't requite a fuck and take activity are oft the moments that most ascertain the course of our lives.
  • You lot are going to dice anytime. Anybody you know is going to die shortly. And in your short life you only have a sure corporeality of fucks to requite.
  • Learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively based on finely honed personal values is perhaps the greatest and virtually important struggle in life.
  • Subtlety #ane: Not giving a fuck is not about being indifferent. Information technology just ways you're comfortable with being different. Don't say fuck information technology to everything in life, just to the unimportant things.
  • Subtlety #2: To not give a fuck about arduousness, you must first care about something more important than arduousness.
  • Subtlety #3: Whether you lot realize it or not, y'all are always choosing what to requite a fuck about. The key is to gradually prune the things y'all intendance about, so that you simply give a fuck on the most important of occasions.
  • When a person has no problems, the heed automatically finds a manner to invent some.
  • I call up what most people — especially educated, pampered heart-class white people — consider "life problems" are really just side effects of non having annihilation more of import to worry near.
  • Finding something important and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive use of your time and free energy.
  • It's okay for things to suck some of the fourth dimension.
  • Practical enlightenment is the act of becoming comfortable with the idea that some suffering is e'er inevitable.
  • There is no value in suffering when it is done without purpose.
  • Don't promise for a life without issues. Hope for a life with good issues.
  • Bug never cease. They merely go exchanged or upgraded.
  • Happiness is found in solving bug, not avoiding them.
  • True happiness occurs only when you notice the problems yous enjoy having and savour solving. Happiness is wanting the problems you take and wanting to solve them.
  • Emotions are merely biological signals designed to nudge you lot in the direction of beneficial change.
  • Negative emotions are a sign that something is going unaddressed. They are a call to action. Positive emotions are the reward for taking the correct activeness.
  • We should question our emotions because they are not always right.
  • Don't ask yourself what yous want out of life. It'due south easy to want success and fame and happiness and great sexual activity. Everybody wants those things. A much more than interesting question to ask yourself is, "What kind of hurting exercise I want?" What you are willing to struggle for is a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.
  • You can't merely be in love with the effect. Everybody loves the result. You have to beloved the process.
  • The climb to the top is a never-ending upward spiral with new problems always surfacing and new processes that you lot must fall in dearest with. You are never immune to finish climbing because the unabridged bespeak is to honey the climb. If you lot always cease loving the climb, the results will never come.
  • Self-esteem, by itself, is overrated. It doesn't aid to feel good about yourself unless y'all accept a good reason for feeling that way. The struggle makes self-esteem useful, not the participation bays.
  • Your bug are not privileged in their severity or pain. You are non unique in your suffering.
  • The more exposed we are to opposing viewpoints, the more we seem to become upset that those other viewpoints exist. This seems like a logical trend to me because before the internet and our hyper-connected modern world, people didn't have equally much likelihood of running into ideas that disagreed with their own. Today, alternating ideas are far more probable to cross your radar screen.
  • Nearly of the states are pretty average at well-nigh things we do. Fifty-fifty if y'all're exceptional at i affair, chances are you're average or beneath average at most other things.
  • Our lives today are filled with information from the extremes of the bell bend of man experience. The best of the best, worst of the worst, and most upsetting of the upsetting. We only meet the most infrequent news stories because that's what drives acquirement. This is a real problem when it comes to comparison because you tin can only be exceptional in ane matter affair and you're going to be below boilerplate in near everything else. That makes comparison a very dangerous game to play.
  • The problem is that the pervasiveness of technology and mass marketing is screwing upward a lot of people's expectations for themselves.
  • Ane of the most pervasive narratives about masculinity in our culture is that the near valuable matter a man can attain is sex and it'due south worth sacrificing well-nigh anything to get information technology. (Interestingly, this corresponds to one of the dominant female narratives, which is that the greatest thing a woman tin can be is cute.)
  • People who are exceptional become that way past thinking they are boilerplate and focusing on improvement. Y'all don't become exceptional by believing y'all are exceptional.
  • The more uncomfortable the respond, the more likely information technology is to be true.
  • Problems are inevitable, but what they mean is flexible. We get to command what our problems mean to us based on how nosotros choose to think about them and how we choose to measure out them. The fashion we measure success influences how we view the bug nosotros face.
  • "Pleasance is a imitation god. Research shows that people who focus their free energy on superficial pleasures end upward more anxious, more than emotionally unstable, and more depressed. Pleasure is the nearly superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose."
  • People who base their self-worth on being right nigh everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes.
  • "1 day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most cute." -Sigmund Freud
  • People who are terrified of what others call up about them are really terrified of all the negative things they think most themselves being reflected dorsum at them.
  • When we feel that nosotros're choosing our problems, nosotros experience empowered. When nosotros feel that our bug are being forced upon us against our will, we experience victimized and miserable.
  • Nosotros don't always control what happens to us. But we always command how we interpret what happens to us, likewise equally how we answer.
  • Accepting responsibility for our problems is the first footstep to solving them.
  • A lot of people hesitate to accept responsibility for their bug because they believe that to be responsible for your problems is as well to exist at fault for your problems. This is not true. We are responsible for experiences that aren't our fault all the time. This is part of life.
  • People volition often fight over who gets to exist responsible for successful and happiness. Simply taking responsibility for our problems is far more important because that's where real learning comes from.
  • Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we larn something new, we don't go from "incorrect" to "right." Rather, we go from incorrect to slightly less wrong. We shouldn't seek to discover the ultimate "correct" answer for ourselves, but rather, we should seek to chip away at the means that nosotros're wrong today so that nosotros tin can be a lilliputian less wrong tomorrow.
  • Certainty is the enemy of growth.
  • All behavior are wrong—some are but less wrong than others.
  • Counterintuitive insight by Baumeister regarding evil: some of the worst criminals often felt adept about themselves. Low self-esteem was not e'er associated with evil acts.
  • The more than y'all attempt to go certain about a particular effect, the more uncertain and insecure you volition feel.
  • The more you lot comprehend being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfy you will feel in knowing what you don't know.
  • The man who believes he knows everything learns nothing.
  • Manson'southward Law of Avoidance: The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avert information technology. The more something threatens how you view yourself, the more y'all will avert getting around to doing information technology.
  • If I believe I'm a nice guy, I'll avoid situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I'thousand an awesome melt, I'll seek out opportunities to evidence that to myself over and over again. The conventionalities ever takes precedence.
  • Manson'south thought of "kill yourself" is similar to Paul Graham's idea of "keep your identity pocket-sized." The central bespeak is that if you lot don't have an identity to protect, and so modify becomes much easier.
  • For whatsoever change to happen in your life, yous must have that yous were wrong about something you were doing before.
  • "Information technology is the marker of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." -Aristotle
  • If it feels like it's you versus the earth, chances are it'due south really just yous versus yourself.
  • The magnitude of your success is tied to how many times you lot've failed at that affair.
  • Goals are limited in the corporeality of happiness they tin can provide in our lives because they are finite. Once you achieve the goal, it can no longer provide happiness because the finish line has been crossed. Paradoxically, and so, by choosing processes as your focus, you can increase your overall, lifelong happiness by focusing on the procedure and non the goal. Processes never end, which ways happiness can go along indefinitely.
  • Action isn't simply the result of motivation; information technology's also the cause of it. Do something and inspiration will follow.
  • How do you write a tons of books? Write "200 crappy words per day" and you'll find motivation often flows out of you lot.
  • Manson's "do something" principle sounds a lot like the philosophy behind the ii-minute rule. Do something now, even if information technology'southward really small, and allow good actions cascade as a result.
  • To truly appreciate something, you must confine yourself to information technology. There's a sure level of joy and meaning that y'all reach in life simply when you've spent decades investing in a unmarried relationship, a unmarried craft, a single career. And you lot cannot achieve those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives.
  • The marker of an unhealthy relationship is when two people try to solve each other's problems in social club to feel good near themselves.
  • Trust is the most important ingredient in any human relationship for the uncomplicated reason that without trust the relationship doesn't really mean anything.
  • Investing deeply in ane person, one place, one chore, one action might deny us the breadth of experience we'd like, but pursuing a breadth of experience denies us the opportunity to relish the rewards of depth of feel.
  • Commitment, in its own way, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences that would never otherwise be bachelor to you lot, no affair how many surface level experiences y'all pursued.
  • Rejection of alternatives liberates united states. In a foreign way, delivery to one affair offers more than liberty than anything else because information technology relieves y'all of all the second guessing about what else is out there.
  • If at that place is no reason to do anything, if life is pointless, so at that place is also no reason to not do anything. What do y'all have to lose? You're going to die anyhow, and then your fears and embarrassments and failures don't hateful anything. You might equally well try.
  • All of the meaning in our life is shaped by our innate desire to never truly die. Our concrete bodies volition die, but nosotros cling to the idea that we can live on through faith, politics, sports, art, and technological innovation.
  • The only way to exist comfortable with death is to sympathise and see yourself equally something bigger than yourself, to contribute to some much larger entity.
  • Information technology is the human activity of choosing your values and living by them that makes you great, not any effect or accomplishment.
  • "We're all going to die, all of us. What a circus! That alone should make u.s.a. dearest each other, but it doesn't." -Charles Bukowski

Reading Suggestions

This is a list of authors, books, and concepts mentioned in The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving a F*ck, which might be useful for future reading.

  • The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker

The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

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Source: https://jamesclear.com/book-summaries/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck